Big Turkey and NoOven Technology Explained

Turkeys are at the forefront of everyone’s mind as the holiday season and 2015 approach, and Thanksgiving passes into memory. This is an important topic that few so far seem to fully understand, and one that gets to the very core of the technology that is essential in the emerging world of the Internet of Turkeys. In a world exclusive, our DailyStream News reporter has captured an interview with the Chief Turkey Officer (CTO) at In a thought-provoking and insightful discussion, we were able to delve into the specifics of Big Turkey and how NoOven platforms are setting the world alight with their ability to sate a seemingly insatiable appetite for Big Turkey.

Editor: When did you first see the gap in the market that lead to your NoOven technology?

CloudOven: One day in the early 2000’s we found we had a Really Big Turkey to deal with and no matter how hard we tried, it just wouldn’t fit in our traditional Roasting and Domestic Baking Management System. (RBDMS)

Editor: You mean an Oven?

CloudOven: Technically speaking, yes.

Editor: Couldn’t you get a bigger Oven?

CloudOven: We tried, but we simply couldn’t deal with our Big Turkey fast enough for our customers, given the Volume and Variety of our Big Turkeys and the Velocity with which new Big Turkeys kept appearing. A traditional RDBMS-based Oven worked well until we needed more than one Oven for a Really Big Turkey. It was too expensive and too slow to share a Really Big Turkey across more than one RDBMS Oven. That’s why we developed our NoOven platform.

Editor: Could you explain your NoOven technology?

CloudOven: Certainly. We’ve gone back to basics, deconstructed Oven technology, threw away all the bits that were hard and that we didn’t understand, and built a NoOven capable of managing a Big Turkey, regardless of its raw volume, variety and velocity.

Editor: So you say it’s brand new, but NoOven technology sounds like just a bunch of smaller ovens? And haven’t Turkey High Performance Cooking (HPC) kitchens been using NoOven technology for years?

CloudOven: Technically speaking, yes on both points, but really it’s about much more than that (it’s Not Only Ovens), with the advantage that with our NoOven technology, any organization, large and small, can deal with their Big Turkey, and if an organization has to deal with a Big Turkey that’s even Bigger that their previous Big Turkey, they simply add more Ovens to our NoOven platform.

Editor: Ah, sounds good, but your NoOven platform arrives flat-packed. You have to build all the Ovens yourself. Doesn’t that require very specific and expensive Big Turkey skills?

CloudOven: You would think so, but we’re finding that everyone across the planet involved in the Integrated Turkey (IT) sector is very keen to have Big Turkey and NoOven skills on their CV. They’ve even created a new job specification for a Big Turkey Scientist.

Editor: Sounds great for them, but isn’t there a problem with Oven Creep, you just don’t know how many Ovens you might need as your Turkey gets Bigger?

CloudOven: We are hearing this as a problem, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.

Editor: So your NoOven platform also supports Eggs?

CloudOven: Technically our NoOven platform only supports Big Turkeys. If you want Big Egg support, you need to build a new NoOven platform for Eggs.

Editor: So more Ovens then?

CloudOven: Er, yes. But be assured that no matter how many Ovens you throw at it, we’ll use them all.

Editor: And how do you see the NoOven market growing? Is this the death of the traditional RDBMS Oven?

CloudOven: Actually, no. Keep this to yourself, but what we’re finding is a huge demand for NoOven platforms in order to catch the Big Turkey, then they put just the Turkey that comes out into their RDBMS Oven.

Editor: You mean, all they really need to do is put the Turkey in the Oven like before?

No Turkeys were harmed in the writing of this blog, Big or otherwise. Seasons Greeting and a Happy New Year to you all.